I had an audition yesterday for a movie (that is spoofing another movie) and was specifically asked to dress and look like the character.  I had so much fun going all out.


And then this tweet was brought to my attention:

There was a woman at an audition today with a hot pink loofah on her head.And she was completely appropriate.#ilovela
— Michelle Loucadoux (@MLoucadoux) October 9, 2012

And it made me so happy:)


xoxo
jolie

P.S.  How rad are those eyelashes????

P.P.S.  It distracts people when you drive around with a loofah on your head.

homemade lara bars

A bunch of random stuff:

* Today I saw a dog wearing goggles while riding a motorcycle and he was the happiest dog I've ever seen.

* If your husband says your hair looks "puffy" that cannot be good.

* I met Benjamin Bratt and he is hot.

A bunch of heavy stuff:

* A friend accused me of being a People Pleaser to a fault and to illuminate this, suggested I make a list of people I consistently want to please. I did this to please her. God help me.

* In an effort to remedy this, I am focusing on pleasing myself first and not playing small. I'm not sure what this looks like yet but you'll be the first to know once I figure it out.

* I hope this post pleases you!! (just kidding:))

A bunch of favorite stuff:

* This American Life has the best iphone app--it is seriously enriching my life to own this.

* Hands down, my new favorite beauty products lately are this mascara, this body lotion and this natural deodorant.

* I cannot get enough of this video (courtesy the amazing Joy the Baker) and the way Stevie Nicks wields her talent so effortlessly and unapologetically. She is pleasing herself first, no?!  Love that.

* I love Lara Bars and I'm so excited I figured out how to make them from scratch!

Homemade Chocolate Coconut Lara Bars
yields at least 6 bars (with likely additional edible scraps)

1/2 cup rough-chopped walnuts (or almonds, or cashews if you prefer)
1/2 cup pitted, rough-chopped dates
1/4 cup unsweetened, shredded coconut (Bob's Red Mill is great)
2 T raw cacao powder 
1/8 t salt
1 T water

Throw the nuts, dates, coconut, cacao and salt into a food processor and blend until everything is well-mixed and incorporated. Add the water a tiny bit at a time, until the mixture just comes together. Turn out between two pieces of plastic wrap and roll with a rolling pin to a uniform thickness (about 3/4"), squaring the edges as best you can. Set in the fridge for at least an hour (or the freezer for 30 minutes) and then cut into bars and wrap individually. These are prone to be kinda squishy (just like real Lara Bars) so I'd store them in the fridge.


May you be as happy as a dog on a motorcycle today:)
xoxo,
jolie

the problem with bangs

Often we think/hope/believe we look like this:

When in reality we look like this:

There's a fine line, right?

Oh, bangs: you kill me. When you're good, you're so good. And when you suck? You're Spicoli.


Happy Weekend:)
xoxo
jolie
{top image from Pinterest}

wax on, wax off

I have a pair of strappy sandals that to put on requires a contortionist's skill. It involves sitting  down, bending over, hinging a knee sideways and pulling an extreme foot-flex move, all the while straining my optic nerves to see beyond their peripheral range to buckle the teensiest metal pin through the teensiest hole that inevitably, somehow, seals itself shut between wearings. God help anyone who tries to do this in skinny jeans and/or after a spaghetti dinner. Forget it. Reach for a slip-on.

This delightful routine came to mind recently when I thought it'd be a great idea to give myself a bikini wax. I've always felt that the self-administered pedicure sounds like a revelation until you're down there dealing with your own dirty feet. Well. Compared to the self-wax? The self-pedicure is a freaking CAKEWALK. 

Before I get into the hairy details (boo), let me give you a small history of my own hair-removal life. For a long while I patronized a salon called SMILE here in Los Angeles and I swear it was a cruel joke that all the estheticians were giant, mean, brusque, overbearing Russian women who did not heed the command of their establishment's name. Ever. It's not fun holding your legs open in a froggy position while a giant, mean, brusque, overbearing Russian woman threatens you with hot wax, periodically yelling at you to "HOLD!" or to "SPREAD!". You just alternate between states of flinching fear and searing pain until they pronounce "DONE!" or "GET OUT, BITCH!" at which point you stumble out to the lobby in a shell-shocked daze, hand over your credit card with your last nerve, and then get amnesia exactly 6 weeks later when it's time to book your next appointment.

One day the amnesia wore off and realizing the torture I was enduring, I decided to fork out serious cash for laser hair removal. Now there's a real treat. Pointed at your junk is a hot laser gun and with each blast, it feels like a million rubber bands are snapping you in the tiny square area of a Chiclet. They keep moving it, Chiclet by Chiclet, until all 1,346,912 "zones" have been "treated". (And hey! Shouldn't I be wearing protective goggles too?) All this seems like a reasonable trade-off for the promise that the hair will never come back again. But then, after the recommended 8 to 10 punishing treatments, IT DOES. And when you inquire about it they hem and haw and tell you it's all about the hair's growth cycles. And that every woman's growth cycles are unique, just like her. So even after hundreds of dollars and a gazillion evil rubber band snaps, you're left with an amorphous bikini line with several stragglers that need regular weeding. 

Enter the razor. The razor's okay and it gets definite bonus points for its cost and pain-free attributes. But you have to shave daily. And that leads to bumps and razor burn.

That's when I got this genius idea: I can wax myself! I'm nicer than a mean Russian lady. Plus, they sell provisions in every drugstore, right? Shouldn't that mean any idiot could do it?

I suppose any idiot could do it if they also happened to perform in Cirque du Soleil.

So there I was, leg up, bent over in some Kama Sutra nightmare, using this crazy kit that didn't come with any fabric strips. Yeah, that's right: you're supposed to spread on the simmering wax with the enclosed wooden spatula (that has the nuance and precision of a 2x4), and then (while your head is still between your legs), wait for a minuscule moment in time when it has the perfect softness/hardness, and then rip it off in a strip. The wax. By itself. With no aforementioned fabric strips to help yank it. For the first section, I didn't wait long enough and smeared a gloppy mess of wax that stuck where it shouldn't. And burned like Hades. For the next section, I waited too long and a Magic Shell-type situation occurred (my inner thigh being the ice cream in this analogy). I had hardened glops of plasticky wax stuck to me, ripping off skin if I tried to budge it. Luckily, the kit included some soothing blue food coloring that did a pretty decent job at dislodging the plastic wax clumps. And with periodic breaks to drain all of my body's blood supply from my head back into the lower extremities, I managed to finish. Forty-five minutes and a splitting backache later I was sporting a red, burning, swollen yet stylish bikini line.

The moral of this story? For the love of all that's good, don't try this at home. And since the professional options are no better, I say we ladies band together to bring back the giant, overgrown bush. Who's with me?

Love,

Jolie

P.S. Recommended links on the subject...

What to expect at a professional Brazilian wax appointment.

How to remove a big bush.

Have you ever had your "pony tail" waxed? OMG.

goody goody two clips

I bought a pair of these rad hair combs from the 70s/80s the other day.  I was wondering if they had an official name and then noticed it in tiny print near the bottom of the package.  They are called "Kathy Side Combs".  I don't know who this Kathy is, but she is one lucky lady to have some groovy side combs named after her.

On the back of the package, the good people at Goody send this message:

"It's a pleasure to be a woman.  You have so many different sides of yourself to express and enjoy.  That's why Goody offers an inspiring range of hair accessories and styling tools to help you create any look with ease."


I guffawed upon reading this for the first time.  But upon reflection, I believe it is a pleasure to be a woman and I, for one, certainly enjoy expressing and enjoying many different sides of myself.  I don't know if I can go all the way to say I feel that Goody's hair accessories are inspiring, it's a bit presumptuous there on Goody's part but I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.





The jury's still out whether I can wear them in a way that is not uninspiring.  I like the idea of them so much but in practical application they're a bit wonky.  After wrestling with them for the better part of fifteen minutes, and finally getting them (and my hair) looking semi-cute the other night, I promptly got a headache from the comb tension.  That made me grouchy.  And I didn't enjoy expressing that side of myself to others.

perfectly disheveled

Joanna posted a fantastic tutorial on how to re-create this messy side ponytail. I love how undone a 'do it is. I can't wait to try. Learn how to do it here.

If the side pony doesn't work out, there's always a hat, right? Aren't these boots kickass? I love the rolled up jeans and slouchy blazer, too...

And no matter how messy your hair is, if you wear a pair of cherry red tights, your look will always look deliberate. Good to know.

I'm gonna spend some time working on my polished disheveled-ness:)

xo
jolie

{top photo by Jamie Beck, bottom two by The Sartorialist}

psssssssst....

The other night, while our (nerdo) men played video games, Kathleeny and I had a girls' night out. We went to a super-hip Hollywood sushi spot, really for the sushi over the scene and (as usual) we're pretty sure everyone thinks we're a lesbian couple when we go out for a nice dinner together.

We sat at a table next to this GIANT ear photo on the wall and it was imminent that this picture be taken within the first 60 seconds of being seated, despite the looks we got from adjacent tables.


Happy Friday!! Here are some fun things for you to click on...............


I want one of these to make envelopes pretty! Aren't they cool?

For Gloria: the best hair product EVER, and this yummiest multi-purpose balm that you can slather just about anywhere for this especially dry winter.

Peanut butter biscotti--need I say more?

These would be kick ass for a superbowl snack! BTW, go Packers!

I'm almost finished with this book and I need a new one. Any suggestions?

The most fun time suck? This website I just found. I [heart] it!


Have a great weekend:)
xo
jolie



P.S.  In the 24 hours that followed this post, I saw these two celebs at Whole Foods, ran into (and hugged) a person I don't know very well from auditions, saw this gal at said swanky sushi spot and almost asked this actress if I knew her from somewhere. Lord.

what a difference an H makes

I went to have my hair colored today and my colorist was talking about Ombre. Do you know this new trend? It's where you have this really dark rooty grow out and the color gradually gets lighter toward the ends. Not sure it's for me even though a lot of these ladies look great. But as she went on about it, all I could think of was this hombre:

Tener un gran fin de semana!

xo

jolie