feta guacamole/a day in the life of pilot season

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Pilot season is here again. It's that time of year when the TV networks are casting all the potential new shows for fall. This makes for a potentially stressful/harrowing time in an actor's life, as auditions abound (if you're lucky) and the pressure is on to book the needle-in-a-haystack. It's not uncommon to have a blitz of appointments all at once that (of course) cannot be rescheduled. I thought I'd give you a window in, so you get the picture. This happened Friday:

A Day in the Life of My Pilot Season (in numbers)

auditions: 3
audition-prep rehearsals: 2
number of Pandora radio stations required for getting-ready inspiration: 4
terrifying encounters with a curling iron spewing sparks/fire: 2 (!!!)
fuses blown: 1
trips to electrical panel outside: 2
bugs on electrical panel: 14
curling iron funerals: 1
backup curling irons employed: 2
hair products needed to complete look: 8
makeup applications: 1
makeup touch-ups throughout day: 147
wardrobe changes: 2
wardrobe changes in car: 1
lucky passersby who most likely caught a glimpse of side-boob while car-changing: 1-3
hair-thwarting wind tunnels between parking lots and waiting rooms: 1
waiting rooms: 3
minutes waiting in waiting rooms: 165
hugs in waiting rooms from actresses who thought I was someone else: 1
girls in waiting rooms preparing to use live pugs as props: 1
pages of sides prepared: 24
actual pages of sides read in auditions: 14
other auditions heard through paper-thin walls: 6
number of producers/writers/casting directors seen: 15
number of courtesy laughs received: 7
number of auditions for which I expected a callback: 1-2
number of callbacks received: 0
total miles driven: 70.3
glasses of wine consumed before 6:30pm: 2-3
entire batches of feta guacamole snarfed: 1

Feta Guacamole
serves 4ish

This will make it all better. And also, it is like crack. (I'm sure for some people crack makes it all better?) Serve it with tortilla chips, toasted pita triangles, on a burger, atop scrambled eggs or my favorite: while toasting/mourning a very decent curling iron.

1 large ripe avocado, cut in half
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
3 T finely chopped red onion
1 small serrano chile, seeded and minced
3/4 cup quartered cherry tomatoes
2 T fresh lemon juice or to taste
2 T chopped cilantro
several cracks freshly ground pepper
sea salt to taste

Cross-hatch the flesh of your halved avocado and scoop the cubes into a bowl. They'll smoosh a little (depending on their firmness) and that's okay. You just want to retain some texture. Add the remaining ingredients and toss gently. Taste as you go and add more lemon juice/salt/pepper. Note: the feta is salty so you'll probably need less salt than you think.



  1. You know what kills even me (a non-actor but a female sympathizer and witness to the pain)? If you were my actor husband (and I assume MOST, but not all, other male actors), you could eliminate all of the hair, curling iron, and make-up related problems on that list. He'll literally get in the shower FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE AT HIS AUDITION. It is so unfair, compared to what you already-beautiful ladies do, that I want to cry.

  2. oh, this made me laugh. it made me laugh hard.

  3. This makes me famished! Off to cut up that avocado I have and make my own version! So glad I found your blog.

  4. wow, what a busy time! i don't blame you for needing a treat - this looks awesome!

  5. Those are some serious one day numbers. My driving, walking and photographing does not come close. Nice looking quac. Have to try feta when I have forgotten to buy queso fresco. Chipotle would make a nice smokey substitution for the serrano.


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