dear kale

Dear Casting Director,

When you were putting my audition on tape and I asked you to make sure my boobs were in frame? I was kidding. I don't think you knew that. Maybe I'm just a really good actress and you believed me. In any event, thanks for featuring The Girls. That certainly won't hurt my chances.

Love,
Jolie

Dear Flight Attendant,

When you served me ginger ale, a tiny drop of your spittle landed on my cheek. Not cool. But I know you didn't mean it. You've got a really hard job. I didn't want to make you feel bad so I left it there 'til you were two rows away. Thanks for the refreshments.

Love,

Jolie

Dear Lady Who Walks on my Street,

It must be hard to pull off that all-white walking ensemble. Including gloves! Those must make your hands feel wicked tingly. Maybe that's why you never say "Hi" back to me when I see you EVERY DAY. I think I get it now. Props to you for walking it out.

Love,

Jolie

Dear Kale,

Thanks for being open to my unconventional notion of throwing you on the grill. You put up such a tough exterior but I know you're really a softie underneath. Especially if I ply you with olive oil and high-quality sea salt. You done good, kid.

Love,

Jolie

Grilled Kale

1 bunch Lacinato kale (the kind with the flatter leaves--these will cook more evenly on the grill)
olive oil
sea salt
black pepper

Wash the kale and rip the leaves from their stalky core. Tear them in half. In a large bowl or kitchen towel, drizzle olive oil (enough to lightly coat all the leaves), sprinkle salt and pepper and toss. Throw the kale on a medium-hot grill and keep moving it around with tongs for just a few minutes, 'til it's wilty and slightly charred in spots. Be careful: it will burn fast!

Yours Truly,

Jolie