The other day I was on my regular morning walk with Lena and she started pooping in my neighbor's yard right as he was exiting his house. Awkward conversation with pooping dog between us ensued:
Me, sheepishly: "Hey there, how are ya? Sorry about this..."
Him, "Oh, it's okay. Don't you get sick of doing that every day?"
That question got me thinking about how every day I see him and his harried wife sweating while corralling their 5 small children and all their pieces into their minivan and how I think the same thing about his morning routine.
Me: "I guess it just is what it is: poop."
I bent down to pick up smeary shit out of his grass while he watched.
Him: "So, what is it you do?"
(In 3 1/2 years, we've never interacted more than just a smile/nod/brief and cursory hello.)
Me, looking like hell, and now holding a bag of hot poop. "Oh, I'm an actress."
You can't tell?
Him: "Cool! Anything I've seen you in?"
Me, still holding said bag-o-poop: "Mostly television."
Him: "You know, January Jones used to live right next door!"
Me: "Wow. Really?"
Him: "Yeah. She moved. But now we've got you!"
Just then I had to itch my face but didn't have a free hand since Lena was pulling all the slack out of the leash. I had to use the hand holding the poop. Awesome.
Me: "Cool. Have a great day."
Him: "You too! Take care!"
This story has absolutely nothing to do with biscotti. Although I do think it's pretty ballsy of me to post a poop story and a recipe together. As my friend Paula would say, deal with it.
These cookies are DELICIOUS! I hope you make them and enjoy them immensely. And I'm sorry that photo of almond butter kinda looks like poop. That was maybe a bad call on my part.
Almond Butter Chocolate Chunk Biscotti
inspired by Joy the Baker
yields about 30 biscotti
4T butter, at room temperature
1/3 cup almond butter (I used creamy salted)
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs (one with the egg and yolk separated)
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
3/4 cup dark chocolate chips (I'm a fan of Ghirardelli 60% cacao)
1 T milk
turbinado sugar for sprinkling before baking
Preheat oven to 325. Line two baking sheets with parchment (or silpats) and set aside.
Whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside. In an electric mixer with paddle attachment, cream the butter, almond butter and sugar until light and fluffy, 3-4 minutes. Add one whole egg and one additional yolk (reserve the egg white for later) and beat until well blended, scraping the sides of the bowl when necessary. Add the dry ingredients a bit at a time until just incorporated. Stir in the chocolate chips. The dough is gonna be dry and somewhat crumbly.
Divide the dough between the two baking sheets and shape into logs about 8" long and 2-3" wide. Make the egg wash: beat the reserved egg white with 1 T milk. Brush it on top of the logs and then sprinkle with the turbinado sugar. Bake for 15 minutes, alternate racks and rotate, and bake for 20 minutes more or until golden brown and cooked through. Allow to cool completely and then, with a serrated knife, slice the log into 1/2" cookies. Place these back on the baking sheets and back into the oven for about 15 more minutes. (Mine didn't really turn golden except a tiny bit on the edges.) Cool and devour!