Missed Connections (by Joeycake)
*You were the three-piece-suit-wearing dandy on the corner of Santa Monica and Vine last Wednesday. I thought you were pretty formally dressed, seeing how you were three sheets to the wind before 9am. You were high-stepping and shouting gibberish, seemingly just for me. I was the one in the dirty Prius, waiting at the red light, hurrying to lock my doors. Remember when you did an actual jazz square while holding my gaze? Due to the fact that I was operating a motor vehicle, I wasn't able to get my phone out fast enough to safely capture photo and/or video of your exceptional shenanigans. I'm kicking myself for this now.
*I was the intrepid actress who prepared for hours, got off book, curled her hair and drove across town in rush-hour traffic to audition for your high-profile project. You were the Important Casting Director who decided to leave the room and let your assistant take over the taping duties right before my turn. Not to be a stickler? But your name did appear on my official appointment email. So you kinda shoulda been there. But it's cool. I'm sure you've been extensively training your 19-year-old assistant to give thoughtful adjustments and hold the camera without shaking it.
*You were the special of the day: the short-rib panini on buttered, toasted fresh country bread with caramelized onions and horseradish aioli. I saw your melty self being delivered to the lucky bastard in front of me in line. I seriously considered you but then, sadly, was the orderer of the bland salad. What can I say? I was trying to be chaste and carb-free. And where did it leave me? Just obsessively thinking of you later (all day, really, and part of the next). Not sure if you'll be there when I return, but a girl can dream.
*You were the main electrical board inside my fancy European clothes washer. I was just a gal, minding her own business, trying to wash a load of whites when you short-circuited. Not cool, main electrical board, not cool. You left me high and dry. Literally. And while I tried to be optimistic about replacing you, you had to play hard-to-get. I know, you're in Europe, you need time to get here, blah blah. But it seems like "two weeks minimum" is an awful long time. Not digging your laid back Euro attitude. Frankly, I think you're playing dirty. How ironic.
*You were a bag of carrots. I'd been looking past you for a week. There were more seductive things in the fridge, like white wine. And the extra short-rib panini I bought to have leftovers. I was the one who needed soothing after a particularly frustrating audition experience. And also after pulling my groin from stepping over heaps of dirty laundry. Did you see me? I clutched an onion and a knob of ginger while limping over to you, hoping you could grab your coconut friends and we could all make a connection...
Vegan Carrot Coconut Soup
4 T coconut oil
8 cups peeled and diced carrots (about 2.5 pounds)
1 large onion, chopped
3 medium cloves garlic, minced
3 T minced fresh ginger
6 cups vegetable broth
2 cups unsweetened coconut milk beverage (I used Trader Joe's brand in the carton)
zest and juice of 1 medium lime
toasted shredded coconut for serving (optional)
In a large soup pot, heat the coconut oil over medium heat. Add the carrots, onion, ginger, garlic and a good pinch of salt. Sauté, stirring occasionally, until fragrant and soft, about 10 minutes. Add the broth and bring to a simmer for about 25 minutes or until carrots are very tender. Add the lime zest. Transfer to a blender in batches to puree. Return the smooth soup to the pot, add the lime juice and coconut milk. Heat thoroughly and taste for salt. Add a little more broth if you want a thinner consistency. Serve with a sprinkling of sea salt and a few shreds of toasted coconut if you wish.
P.S. how to do a jazz square