I sat there with a handful of women, all of us attempting to secure whirling skirts and hair. In order to minimize lipgloss-hair stickage, I turned my head 55 degrees into the draft and apparently that was perceived as an open invitation for the girl next to me to start up some chit chat:
"Did your agent tell you to show your boobs for this audition today?" I turned my head the remaining 35 degrees. It was no joke. Her shirt was working overtime trying to keep up.
"Huh. Really? That's so weird. I think my agent likes me to show my boobs because she makes a point to tell me before every audition." I pursed my lips and nodded. She just stared at me.
"Well, you do have nice boobs," I heard myself say, goddamn people pleaser that I am.
"Nursing," She explained, as she pointed back and forth between her engorged mounds. "She's a weirdo anyway, my agent. I invited her to my baby shower? Well, actually it was a Goddess Circle--it was really beautiful--anyway, you pass this rock around and then whoever holds it says a prayer or a blessing and when my agent got the rock, she just did this..." she drooped her eyes to half-mast and demonstrated a slow, lascivious nod. "...and she said, 'I love that you're having a boy. Mothers and sons??...That's gooood'. People around the Goddess Circle were getting uncomfortable."
So were people in the wind tunnel. "What's up, Oedipus?!" I joked. She looked at me like I just spoke Chinese.
"Ladies, I'm gonna have to bow out of this conversation," piped in another girl who never once joined the conversation. Hold on--bowing out was an option? "Oh, yeah, I better concentrate too," I said, using the back of my hand to smear off any leftover lipgloss so I could face forward. And then I pretended to look at my scenes while trying to remember verbatim everything that just happened.
I ask you: who doesn't need comfort food after an interaction like that? Or even after reading about an interaction like that?!
I made these potatoes last week to go underneath these short ribs. But here's another idea: they'd be perfect for your next Goddess Circle potluck!
Roasted Garlic and Sour Cream Smashed Potatoes
serves 4 generously
adapted from the Gourmet Cookbook
Mashed potatoes always seemed so fancy when I was a kid. They only made an appearance at Holidays and I thought my Grandma was the only person who was allowed to make them. She would whip them into submission with butterbutterbutter and then let us lick the beaters after. For a non-Holiday weeknight dinner I like leaving the skins on--more chunky and rustic, like a super-smashed baked potato with lots of sour cream and butter. But feel free to peel them if it strikes your fancy. Also--I love the trick of cooking the potatoes in very salty water. It imparts great flavor while cooking--and you hardly need much salt at the end.
2 pounds yukon gold potatoes
1T kosher salt
1 head garlic
drizzle olive oil
4T (half a stick) unsalted butter
1/2 cup sour cream (light is fine)
3T finely chopped Italian parsley (optional)
Preheat oven to 350. Halve the garlic through its equator, leaving on all the papery skin. Drizzle a little olive oil on the cut sides, put it back together, wrap in foil and bake for 50 minutes. When cool enough to touch, squeeze each half over a plate and all the cloves (now roasted garlic paste deliciousness) will squirt out easily. Set aside.
Peel (or not) and cut the potatoes into 1-2" cubes. Place in a pot and fill with just enough cold water to cover. Add 1T kosher salt. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to simmer, uncovered, until potatoes are tender, about 15-16 minutes. Drain well in a colander and return to the hot pot. Add the butter, sour cream, and garlic paste and mash with a hand-held potato masher. Stir in parsley, season with salt and pepper to taste.