Saturday, January 14, 2012

conversational



A middle-of-the-night conversation in our house might go something like this:


D: [sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze]

Me, waking up: "Are you okay?"

D: "Huh?"

Me: "Are you okay? It sounds like you're having an allergy attack."

D: "Wha?"

Me: "Are. You. O. Kay????"

D: "I cannot hear you."

Me: [exasperated sigh]

D: "Do you have the covers over your head?"

[beat.]

Me: "Yes."


THE END


A conversation with a T-shirt vendor at the Farmer's Market might go something like this:


Me: "I think I'll take this shirt here. The green one with the chicken on it. It's so cute!"

T-shirt-selling Man: "That's a rooster, ma'am."

Me: "I know, I just like calling it a chicken."

TSSM: "Chickens are boring."

Me: "Excuse me?"

TSSM: "Roosters are way more interesting. That's why it's the logo of our T-shirt company."

Me: "Oh. Cool. Well, my husband's a chicken so that's why I want to get him a chicken shirt."

TSSM: "Is he afraid of something?"

Me: "No, it's just a nickname we have for each other. He's a chicken and I'm a chicken too. I guess you think that makes us boring, huh? Ha ha!"

TSSM (nonplussed): "That'll be fifteen dollars."


THE END



A conversation with DP while trying to write a blog post might go something like this:


Me: "Will you go put on your new chicken shirt?"

D: "Why?"

Me: "So I can take a picture of you in it. It's for the blog."

D (annoyed but pretending not to be): "Yes. Hold on."

[5 minutes later]

D (yelling down from upstairs): "It's dirty."

Me (yelling up from downstairs): "Crap. Is it super wrinkly?"

D (yelling down from upstairs): "Sorta."

Me (yelling up from downstairs): "Ok, just throw it on quick and come down here so I can take your picture."

[5 minutes later]

D (mocking as he watches me put the camera strap over my head): "You look like a doctor or something, the way you're putting that over your head."

Me:  "What? You're the one who told me to always put the strap on so I don't drop it."

D: "Can you hurry it up? I have to get on a conference call."

Me: "Yes! Just hold it kinda tight so the wrinkles don't show so bad......why are you scrunching up your face?"

D: "I don't want my face in the picture."


THE END


Like that would ever stop me.

Happy Weekend!
xoxo
Jolie

P.S.  I'm working on this fine television program next week so I'll be back on Joeycake when I come up for air!

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