Monday, March 21, 2016

who wouldn't want to read a story about a rabbit on a leash?

Recently, David, Louis and I were lunching on a crowded outdoor patio and a man sauntered in with a rabbit on a leash. Before you start thinking that might sound darling, let me just say: this was no bunny. It was one of those behemoth, toddler-sized rabbits meant for wild, deep woods. Its keeper was smug (not unlike those ballsy people who walk around in public with birds perched on their heads), and talking way too loudly for the benefit of every living soul on the patio. It worked: every single one of us stared. A mousy woman trailed behind, his reluctant cohort. She looked somewhere between mortified and clueless. I tried to picture reasons why she might be accompanying him--sympathetic sister, perhaps? Blind date? Parole officer?

The Keeper and his Lady sat down under an umbrella. Then he unleashed his cottontail, hoisting the immense rodent onto his lap while it rigorously pumped its hind legs as if to say I belong on the ground, fool! The man then tried to act natural, combing his fingers repeatedly down its back, enjoying the attention while he talked to his friend(?).

As we wrapped our heads around this spectacle, I glanced around the patio. In the most perfect turn of events EVER, the young woman at the table next to us was doing some sort of portable craft that involved stab stab stabbing a needle into a little felted figurine shaped like (wait for it) a rabbit.

A small beagle represented us all by having a frantic barking fit, adding to the kerfuffle and The man turned to it (but really all of us) and half-yelled, "Bet you've never seen that before, huh?! A rabbit in a cafe!?"

Just then, Louis Rocket, a toddler-sized toddler and lover of all doggies, started wildly pointing his chubby fingers and yelling, "Dah! Dah! Dah!" ("Dog! Dog! Dog!") The entire patio, even the needle stabber and the Rabbit guy's Lady, swiveled their heads to enjoy him.

I glanced at the Keeper. His eyes were downcast, his shoulders slumped. The rabbit, however, looked oddly satisfied.



And now, something delicious both a toddler and a rabbit would love*:

*Did you think rabbits only ate carrots?


Toddler Banana Pancake
serves one toddler (or one rabbit, probably)

1/2 mashed banana
1 egg, beaten
couple shakes cinnamon
tiny splash vanilla
minuscule pinch sea salt
1 T gluten-free flour (or flour of your choice)
1 t coconut oil, for cooking

Mix together all ingredients except coconut oil. Heat nonstick or cast iron skillet over medium heat, adding oil when hot. Pour in batter, cook for 3-4 minutes and then flip. Break into 1000 pieces before serving. For either toddler or rabbit.


BTW:
I've missed you!
Sorry I've been gone so long!
This mom/life juggle has got me so busy, y'all.
Working it out, working it out.

Love
Love
Love,
Jolie

5 comments:

  1. When people choose to pay attention to an uber-adorable baby human over a rabbit made instrument and victim to someone's inner Hipster (e.g. Child) gone wild, there is hope for this world after all.
    Great to have your blogging self back, Jolie!
    Wishing you and the Adorbs well.

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  2. Hilarious!!!!!! Thanks :) () ()
    :











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  3. HOLY MOM LIFE. I get it!
    Also: Why does a rabbit on a leash not surprise me for LA?

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  4. You're doing great! I hope somebody is telling you that on a regular basis! Being a mom is hard, busy, nutty, fun, exhausting, and yes hilarious at times... And you still find time to leave us a funny rabbit story and a yummy recipe! You make my day! ��

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  5. Jolie - I'm not a cook or a baker. But I appreciate good writing. And you write so very well. I thank you for that. And how did I come to your lovely site? I just saw you in an old episode of CSI Miami (in which you were terrific, by the way), and I followed your trail from there. I find it so ironic, by the way, that the actor that played your boyfriend in the show actually spent some years in jail for his involvement in the shooting of a cop! Go figure! In any case, good luck with your acting and writing careers. And you have much continued success in your life with your husband and stunning son!
    Sincerely,

    Dr. Norman Gold
    NaftaliG@aol.com
    516-384-3972

    ReplyDelete

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