Thursday, March 12, 2015

27 Things My Sleeping Newborn Sounds Like in The Middle of The Night While I Lie There Praying He Doesn't Wake Up


A loose fan belt

A dragon with a head cold

A crappy ventriloquist

A rusty accordion

An injured pterodactyl

An entire family of raccoons

The grape lady

A haunted house's door

Anything needing WD-40

A constipated bird

A constipated grandpa

A constipated pirate

Little Richard

James Brown

Donald Duck

Gollum

Gizmo

Q*bert

Chewbacca

A peanut in a vise

A ticklish horse

A swarm of bees

A donkey that's tired of carrying your shit

A basket of angry snakes

A broken radiator

An ancient tomb being pried open with a crowbar

A stolen car peeling out of a gravel parking lot


xoxo
jolie

2 comments:

  1. But he's just so josh darn cute!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You should record him and make a cd mix. Those record contracts aren't going to sign themselves, you know. :)

    Happy Birthday, btw! Hope your day was fabulous!!

    ReplyDelete

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