pineapple coconut protein shake with greens

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

34 weeks pregnant over here and counting. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you people have now begun to literally point at me and shout, "You're HUGE!"

So there's that.

At the hardware store several weeks ago, an employee bustled past me and as he did, he pointed at my belly and shouted his guess at my due date. Like I was a walking how-many-jellybeans-are-in-the-jar contest. It would've (maybe?) been funny had his guess not been TWO MONTHS EARLY.

You know how you're not supposed to EVER ask a woman if she's pregnant? How that is like an Unwritten Rule of Being a Good Person? Well, once one has confirmed she is pregnant, that shouldn't give one carte blanche to say/ask her anything without using one's noodle. These juicy items come to mind:

"You must be ready to POP!"
"Any day now, huh?"
"What are you, nine months?"
"You sure there's only one in there?!"
"You still have six more weeks to go? WOW!"
"How much weight have you gained so far?"**

(**My father poses this question whenever we talk now (which is often). It's like he's my Overeaters Anonymous sponsor. It never fails to make me flinch. And every time, I consider trying to make a joke and dodge the topic. But he's my dad and I know he means well, so inevitably I just tell him my weight. Which I'm realizing now is why he probably keeps asking me.)

Can we add these types of things to the Unwritten Person Rules? None of these things help us Preggos. Here are some handy replacements:

"Can I get you a chair?"
"You're glowing!"
"You don't even look pregnant from the back!"
"I have an extra half-sandwich here with your name on it."
"Another Arnold Palmer?"
"Want me to tie your shoes for you?"
"You have never looked so sexy!"

Consider this a public service announcement on behalf of Preggos everywhere. Bonus: I will be genuinely excited if you say any of the above to me especially if you also forget to ask me how much weight I've gained.


Pineapple Coconut Protein Shake with Greens
yields 1 large or 2 smaller shakes

Some of my baby websites are telling me that this week, the child inside me is the size of a large pineapple, so let's toast to that with some pineapple protein shakes! These are so good, pregnant or no.

6 oz. unsweetened coconut milk
4 oz. water
1 cup frozen pineapple chunks
1/2 frozen banana
2 heaping cups fresh spinach
1 T flax meal (ground flax seeds)
1 T coconut oil
1 scoop vanilla protein powder

Place all ingredients in a blender and blend! Add ice if your fruit is not frozen.



  1. This shake sounds amazing and this post was really cute. I actually think that I will be very happy when someone notices I am showing when I finally am pregnant.

    rae of love from berlin

  2. Hi Jolie,
    Sounds like you get a little upset when your dad asks you questions about your baby weight gain. Truth is, it is wildly inappropriate for a father to ask his grown daughter invasive questions about her weight, pregnant or no. He shouldn't be discussing your body issues with you at all. When he asks you again on the phone, tell him you would rather not discuss it, and if he persists, end the conversation. That may seem harsh to you, but it's better than facing questions that compromise your self esteem.
    Sincerely, a shrink-in-training who follows your blog. :)

  3. I love your posts, I truly look forward to them! :-) thank you, sending you a virtual hug [[[[[[n]]]]]]! Don't worry about a thing, let them say what they will, you're perfect!!! I'm definitely going to try your pineapple smoothie, yum. Also, have you checked out Alicia Paulson's latest blog, she has inspired me, a very beginner quilter to try a log cabin quilt, and I thought of you when I saw it! Enjoy every minute, it goes by so quickly!

    1. Thank you, Susannah:)) I ADORE Alicia and she has inspired me SO MUCH too. Go for a log cabin! They are easier than they look! xo

  4. This smoothie is SO good!! Thank you for sharing. I have had one everyday since I first found this recipe -- I'm addicted. Yesterday I thought I was out of coconut milk and I almost cried!! Lucky for me -- I was just too short to see it hiding in the back.


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