some things I learned this past week, volume 2:

• Smoking a Sherlock-Holmes-y pipe while driving is just as distracting and dangerous as texting.
• If you simultaneously sport smokey eye makeup and clogs they cancel each other out.
• If the driver of a tour bus filled with tourists pulls up next your car and asks you if you're famous, always say yes.
• On Hollywood Boulevard, it's not odd at all to see Darth Vader and a bicycle-riding Scientologist pass each other and maybe even high-five.
• Some NYC cab drivers actually say "Fugetaboutit" without any trace of irony.
• Trying to stay motivated during a spin class while this song is playing only an exercise in futility.
• Putting exclamation points at the ends of your To Do List items do not make them get done any quicker.
• Anything you eat while you watch Top Chef is gonna suck.
• My Mom is awesome.